There’s a whole bunch of stuff I’ll bet you never knew about Chuck Norris.

Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds ’til.” After you ask, “Two seconds ’til what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”

Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris is currently suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Chuck Norris.

Google won’t search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don’t find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.