Sunbeams illuminating a coastal forest in Port Orford, Oregon

Chuggnutt!

Author: Jon

  • The truth about vampires

    I realize I’m about a week late blogging this item (should have been around Halloween), but I just can’t resist: Count Dracula not in the numbers, physicist says. A scientist is playing Scully to scientifically disprove the existence of monsters—vampires, zombies, ghosts, and so on.

    Articles like this make me amused and irritated at the same time. I always get a kick of out it when a goofy, kooky topic like this shows up in the “serious” mainstream news, but it annoys me when they purport to have The Answer to things and get their science and logic wrong.

    Case in point: his proof against the existence of vampires is flawed:

    [Costas] Efthimiou takes out the calculator to prove that if a vampire sucked one person’s blood each month — turning each victim into an equally hungry vampire — after a couple of years there would be no people left, just vampires. He started his calculations with just one vampire and 537 million humans on January 1, 1600 and shows that the human population would be down to zero by July 1602.

    Now I’m not saying that vampires do exist, but that’s weak. Yes, you’ve shown us that repeatedly doubling a number increases it exponentially very quickly, but this “proof” is hardly proof. First of all, why the assumption that vampires always make more vampires? If the vampire doesn’t kill you outright, then you become a vampire. I think it’s up to the “source” vampire. No exponential increase.

    Second, couldn’t some of these vampires be feeding on animals instead of humans? (Digression: wouldn’t vampire cows be funny?)

    Third, I’m sure vampires are reasonably intelligent enough to have figured out that if they keep making vampires, there’s no more food left. I imagine they plan accordingly.

    Fourth, where did this “one person per month” figure come from? That seems rather arbitrary.

    So his reasoning is flawed. I think he would be better off arguing against the more implausible vampire myths, such as the physical impossibility of their not casting reflections in mirrors.

    Or, you know, doing real science.

  • Lost A-Team mashup

    I love this video mashup of Lost and The A-Team. I might even like it better than the actual third season of “Lost” so far!

  • Protolariat

    This entry stems entirely from a gross misspelling/mishandling of the word “proletariat” on my part. “Protolariat” is not a real word; if you search for it nothing comes up. What better opportunity to create a new word and be the only search engine result for it? :)

    So, what should the definition be? I’m thinking something along the lines of:

    • An incomplete model of string theory
    • A poorly-executed or work-in-progress “Web 2.0” site; possibly derogatory. “Friendster is a real protolariat”
    • Mushroom juice
    • A long piece of rope with a knot at one end

    Coining new words with the power of the internet!

  • Kids + illness + birthday = entirely too busy

    The “illness” referred to in the title above is our daughter’s; she isn’t seriously sick but has this cough that really kicks in after she’s been asleep for a few hours, and this happens two or three times a night. It really sucks to have your sleep punctured every couple of hours to go administer meds or water or whatever.

    Anyway. It was also our daughter’s birthday weekend, so we were running around a lot getting things ready and such. The birthday party went really well, so that’s good. Thankfully they seem to get easier as the kids get older and more autonomous. No need to give the little ones booze and sleep it off anymore.

    I’m kidding. (Or am I?)

    The only hitch was two kids didn’t get picked up; turns out the mom who was supposed to be picking them up went to the wrong place. Fortunately, we had our minivan and cellphones, so we were able to take the extra kids to where they needed to be. That may well have been the first time we’ve carpooled…

    Anyway, I’ll try to get back to my regular blogging schedule. Which hasn’t been very “regular” of late, I know. I’ll get right on that… sometime…

  • More Lost braindump

    No, this won’t be quite the rant I did last week, just thoughts since watching tonight’s episode of “Lost.” In particular I thought tonight’s Eko-centric episode was far better than last week’s, but most of this is just braindump. Maybe some ranting. And oh yeah, huge spoilers.

    Huge spoilers ahead, don’t say I didn’t warn you…

    (more…)

  • An appropriate image?

    I’m not sure what this might say about me, but when I was reading this KTVZ story about the utterly ridiculous Measure 37 claim on the Newberry Volcanic Monument, I couldn’t help but think the image filed with the story looks like a skull:

    Newberry Volcanic Monument

    See the eyesockets? Yeah, that’s messed up.

    Oh and FYI, Measure 37? Only one of the most brain dead ballot measures ever passed in the state of Oregon.

  • Best. Party. EVAR!!!!!11!1

    C’mon, with a title like that, how could it not be?

    “It” being the Halloween party we went to last night. Costumes, booze, food, and friends. And a giant inflatable Scooby Doo. (Yes, it was this same Scooby.)  Although this year, perhaps the title of this post should be, “Oh my God, they killed Scooby! Those bastards!”

    Yes, that’s right: somebody killed Scooby Doo.

    See, when Scooby disappeared from the back deck (where he was leering in the window this year), the assumption was the thing had deflated. Somebody suggested that Scooby had, indeed, been killed, but I thought it was just the running gag. Until Scooby’s giant deflated plastic corpse was discovered lying in a pool of blood with a large knife in the neck.

    (I think this Family Guy clip applies here. I’ve been looking for an excuse to link to that.)

    I knew I had been beating that dead horse into the ground, but I had no idea it would incite a murderous crime of passion…

    That was a good party.

    Those bastards!

  • Lost rant (four episodes in)

    Okay, I’ve managed to hold out for the first four episodes of “Lost” this season, but after tonight I couldn’t resist it any longer. It’s a rant. It’s gonna be spoilerish, and long-winded, usual disclaimers apply, etc. etc. Only click through if you’re ready.

    (more…)

  • Robot garbage can

    That’s the new toy in the house from this weekend: a garbage can whose lid opens automatically (via infrared sensor). It was from Costco, but I can’t find it on their site to pull up a picture; and since I’m too lazy to go look at the brand on the actual thing itself, you’ll just have to use the awesome power of your imagination for now.

    So far, the sensor has been tripped by standing too close to it; walking by it; intentionally (via Jedi hand-waving magic); and the dog. That dog one only happened once; he sniffed too close to it, it popped open, and he jumped and scrabbled away. That was pretty funny.

    Now, what is that goofy phrase they always use on Slashdot and the like? …I for one welcome our new robotic garbage can overlords…

    …because really, it’s just a matter of time at this point.

  • Book report

    I’ve been on a reading tear over the summer, mostly all good books, and I thought I’d be a little self-indulgent and list what I’ve read with some comments.