Jake beat me to the punch on blogging this, but I couldn’t resist anyway. I got this comment on my clothesline post the other day:

The rules are the rules. Anyone who doesn’t want to live by the rules can go live in the ugly lowlands.

It was signed "Sally Heatherton" and points to the blog "Marvelous Bend!". Intrigued (I mean, would someone really say such a thing?), I checked out the blog and was utterly incredulous for a minute, and then realized that it’s a fake. Satire. And it’s brilliant! It’s freakin’ brilliant!

Well, maybe not that brilliant, but it’s damn funny. (And sad to say, plausible enough—I actually know someone very much like this.)

Like Jake, I went through searching the web and DIAL and Dex and found nothing.

Almost nothing, that is. It’s not an identity or anything like that, but (up until today) the only result I could get for "Sally Heatherton" on Google (quotes included) was a hit on a character in a book: The Barrow Murder by James Huston. Via Google’s Book Search (that’s good stuff):

I went to the window of a teller I knew at the bank, Sally Heatherton. We had even dated for a short time, until she called our relationship off. "I don’t want to get involved with someone who’s broke all the time," she announced. "A loser. I want to get married to someone who’s a success, who can support me, so I can get the hell out of this teller cage."

I guess the new game around here is "Guess Who Sally Heatherton Really Is."

Jake points to an utterly jaw-dropping article in the Wall Street Journal about a woman who is running into trouble up on Awbrey Butte by… get this… daring to hang her laundry on a clothesline.

No kidding.

This is stupid beyond words. Check it:

The regulations of the subdivision in which Ms. Taylor lives effectively prohibit outdoor clotheslines. In a move that has torn apart this otherwise tranquil community, the development’s managers have threatened legal action. To the developer and many residents, clotheslines evoke the urban blight they sought to avoid by settling in the Oregon mountains.

"This bombards the senses," interior designer Joan Grundeman says of her neighbor’s clothesline. "It can’t possibly increase property values and make people think this is a nice neighborhood."

Let’s break down a couple of those things, shall we? It states, "clotheslines evoke the urban blight they sought to avoid by settling in the Oregon mountains"—ummm, if you’re settling in the "Oregon mountains," you’d better believe clotheslines are a way of life. You know, the kind of life you moved here to experience? If that’s a problem, then leave.

And "urban blight" and "bombards the senses"? Seriously? It’s a clothesline. If anything, I would think it would not only make the neighborhood nicer, but it would increase property values. That’s how the world works for those of us with common sense, anyway.

So Brooks Resources is threatening legal action. And while she may be, technically, in violation of the CC&Rs for the neighborhood,

Ms. Taylor responded by pointing out that the subdivision is "blatantly full of noncompliant owners" who display everything from plastic play equipment to exterior paint colors that don’t meet the requirement of "medium to dark tones." She added: "Who am I hurting by hanging clothes out to dry?"

So yeah, I’m just blown away by this level of stupidity. Hanging a clothesline is the "green" and environmentally-responsible thing to do—and isn’t being green the new trend, especially among the "elite" and all these new, trendy homes and developments that are going up? How does caring about the environment constitute "blight"?

I guess being environmentally responsible isn’t a priority for Brooks Resources or the other fools complaining over a backyard clothesline; if I was really snarky I’d write a headline saying Brooks Resources hates the environment.

Man, some days I agree with Jake’s comment that Bend really seems to be turning into a craphole.

When I wrote the post about the G.I. Joe movie awhile back, I started ruminating over the apparent trend over the past few years of making movies based on 80’s TV series. Like "Miami Vice" and "The Dukes of Hazzard."

It took awhile, but there is an "A-Team" movie in production, scheduled for a 2008 release. And I’m a little surprised someone hasn’t taken up such obvious movie-fodder as "Airwolf" and "MacGyver." I mean, if ever there was an 80’s show destined to be a movie, "Airwolf" is it.

It’s when they start hitting the 80’s cartoons that you realize they’re desperate (or is that brilliant?)—like "Transformers" and the afore-mentioned "G.I. Joe." I got to thinking about what other noteworthy 80’s cartoons to watch out for…

• Robotech: recently announced, possibly headed up by Tobey Maguire.
• He-Man: "Masters of the Universe" was made way back in 1987, with Dolph Lundgren as He-Man. That’s apparently not stopping a new version (set for 2009) though: here’s the IMDB page for it, and here’s an article from May of this year.
• Voltron: There was some speculation that JJ Abrahms’ weird "Cloverfield" movie was going to be Voltron, but that was debunked. However, someone else picked up the ball: a movie set for 2008 apparently; here’s the super-secret IMDB page for it. More details here.
• Thundercats: Good grief, Esquire has an article about this that includes cast and everything. Who knew? (Ugh, it even mentions a "Care Bear" movie.) I got snookered! (See comment below.) Here’s a real link to a "Thundercats" movie.
• Gummi Bears: Please, no.
• Smurfs: Please, no. (Alas, it looks like a CGI animated movie is set for 2008.)
• M.A.S.K.: None as far as I know.
• Thundarr the Barbarian: I’m getting Eclectic Old-School here. But a cartoon set on an apocalyptic, far-future version of the Earth? (Even the moon is split in two!) What’s not to like? But no movie treatment as far as I know.

What’s next?