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Continuing in my series of totally random toy posts... presenting the JUSTICE HEROES LEAGUE!!!

Flea markets and foreign knock-offs of American pop culture are the best. (Via.)

Jake points to an utterly jaw-dropping article in the Wall Street Journal about a woman who is running into trouble up on Awbrey Butte by... get this... daring to hang her laundry on a clothesline.

No kidding.

This is stupid beyond words. Check it:

The regulations of the subdivision in which Ms. Taylor lives effectively prohibit outdoor clotheslines. In a move that has torn apart this otherwise tranquil community, the development's managers have threatened legal action. To the developer and many residents, clotheslines evoke the urban blight they sought to avoid by settling in the Oregon mountains.

"This bombards the senses," interior designer Joan Grundeman says of her neighbor's clothesline. "It can't possibly increase property values and make people think this is a nice neighborhood."

Let's break down a couple of those things, shall we? It states, "clotheslines evoke the urban blight they sought to avoid by settling in the Oregon mountains"—ummm, if you're settling in the "Oregon mountains," you'd better believe clotheslines are a way of life. You know, the kind of life you moved here to experience? If that's a problem, then leave.

And "urban blight" and "bombards the senses"? Seriously? It's a clothesline. If anything, I would think it would not only make the neighborhood nicer, but it would increase property values. That's how the world works for those of us with common sense, anyway.

So Brooks Resources is threatening legal action. And while she may be, technically, in violation of the CC&Rs for the neighborhood,

Ms. Taylor responded by pointing out that the subdivision is "blatantly full of noncompliant owners" who display everything from plastic play equipment to exterior paint colors that don't meet the requirement of "medium to dark tones." She added: "Who am I hurting by hanging clothes out to dry?"

So yeah, I'm just blown away by this level of stupidity. Hanging a clothesline is the "green" and environmentally-responsible thing to do—and isn't being green the new trend, especially among the "elite" and all these new, trendy homes and developments that are going up? How does caring about the environment constitute "blight"?

I guess being environmentally responsible isn't a priority for Brooks Resources or the other fools complaining over a backyard clothesline; if I was really snarky I'd write a headline saying Brooks Resources hates the environment.

Man, some days I agree with Jake's comment that Bend really seems to be turning into a craphole.

The news on KTVZ tonight about the former Rajneesh land being sold caught my ear and got me reflecting a bit on that particular period of weirdness in Central Oregon history. I wouldn't go so far as to call it a "dark day" in Oregon history like the interviewee on the news did, but it was definitely weird.

The Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh was an Indian (from India the country, not Native American) spiritual teacher who in 1981 came to Oregon, where his followers bought The Big Muddy ranch outside of Antelope and started a commune there. Naming the commune Rajneeshpuram, they attracted all sorts of attention among the locals, mostly negative.

Understand, this part of Oregon in the 80s was much more conservative and rural than now; the majority of the population was based in agriculture (farmers, cowboys) and operated on Good-Ol-Boy-ism. So the idea of a cult moving in and then taking over the town of Antelope was met with open hostility.

It didn't help that the Rajneeshees had a number of odd practices and goings-on as well. They all wore red, for instance. They owned a large number of Rolls Royces and the Bhagwan would ride around in them everywhere. They carried machine guns in open sight.

And when I said they "took over" Antelope, I'm not kidding—they registered to vote there and got a referendum passed renaming the town to "Rajneesh." They were able to do this because some 7000 of them lived in the commune.

Sheela, the Bhagwan's Number Two person, was a real piece of work. When authorities started investigating the Rajneesh commune, the crazy stuff came to light and Sheela and several leaders "were indicted and convicted of several crimes, including immigration fraud, wiretapping, first and second degree assault (poisoning) of two public officials, and the attempted murder of Rajneesh's personal physician."

Sheela and the Rajneeshees also have the dubious honor of perpetrating the largest germ warfare attack in the history of the U.S., when they infected a salad bar in a restaurant in The Dalles with salmonella—sickening over 750 people.

The Bhagwan went on the run and was caught back east in North Carolina and deported. The sheriff or whoever who was involved in the capture appeared on the news, drawling, "We caught us a Bag-wahn from Ory-gun."

Strange days, indeed.

We had a great spring break trip to San Diego last week, and while we took a bunch of pictures, there are three especially that I couldn't resist posting here. Mostly because they're so messed up and random.

The first two are from Legoland. That place is like the Lego Disneyland—lots of rides and fun things, with Lego sculptures everywhere. Pretty straightforward concept, right? That's why it's totally awesome to run across something like this:

I wants me a Lego Skeleton Kit™ bloody well right now.

And among the various other Lego sculpture decor, most of which was themed and made sense, there was this:

What. The. Hell??

Best. Themepark. Ever.

Earlier in the week, we visited the Fleet Science Center, and they have a section especially for kids there called "Grossology." While most of the Grossology exhibits are pretty much what you'd expect, there was no way I could pass up taking a photo of this genuine video game:

Yep. Played it. Need a PlayStation version.

SouthFlorida.com is running a photo gallery of kids scared of Santa Claus, which is gut-busting funny. (Really! I laughed out loud at a lot of these.) But some of these Santas are so messed up that I had to re-run them here. (But go check out the rest.)

Like this one...

Hard-drinkin' Santa

Or this one:

America's Most Wanted Santa

More...

Bank Robbery Gone Bad Santa

And while those are fun, what the hell is with these fake Santas?

Holy shit this freaks me out... it's like Night of the Corn Santa or something

And finally, I think we have what qualifies as Worst Santa Ever:

Via Boing Boing.

On the one hand, I want to say, "who knew it would come to this," but on the other, well, it figures: Dustin Diamon, AKA Screech from "Saved by the Bell," is the latest celebrity to have a sex tape released to the public.

See also stories on TMZ.com here, here, and here. That last link purports to have a preview. Consider all of it NSFW, kids.

This is an incredibly weird story... mind-boggling, really. TMZ describes the tape as:

The tape begins with Diamond in a bathtub, narrating what's to come. It ends with Diamond introducing one of the women to a "Dirty Sanchez." Suffice it say, it is unbelievably graphic.

...I have to say, I never thought the phrase "Dirty Sanchez" would ever appear on this blog. You can look it up on Wikipedia if you like, but I ain't gonna link to it.

The cynical theory is that since Diamond is supposedly flat broke, and his career is stalled out due to the Screech typecast, this video not only breaks him out of that stereotyped image but also kicks-starts the PR on his career.

If that's true, that's pretty hardcore. (Pun intended.)

See also: my post from over three and a half years ago.

So on my way to work this morning, I got into a car accident. One of three cars involved! Westbound on Franklin, just past the light on Third, and the first car stopped for the construction they've got going on, and the car in front of me rear-ended the first car, stopping up short, and I had to hit my brakes—but still rear-ended the second car. A three car pile-up. Sort of.

Anyway, I'm fine, no injuries, just smashed up the front of our Honda Odyssey real good (but the engine seems to be fine, so that's good). The other two drivers are fine, too, so everybody came out of it shaken but unscathed.

Yep, it all sucks. The car is at the shop now, waiting for a damage estimate, and I'm dealing with insurance and paperwork and all that fun stuff.

What I find amusing, is everyone's reaction: first is the natural, "Are you okay?" question; that's been followed up with, "It wasn't the new car, was it?"

(No, it was the older car.)

When I started writing this post, the video in question actually existed... but now the link they had goes to the Visitor and Convention Bureau site... hmmmmmm.

The title of this post might as well be "How not to do viral marketing." It concerns a new animated ad campaign, detailed in excruciating detail in this Bulletin article, launched by the Bend Visitor & Convention Bureau... I'm actually at a loss for words.

Okay, I'm not really. Nor will I mince words: at best, this video makes me embarrassed for Bend.

My wife sent me the link in the morning, without explanation. First of all, it took forever to load, which is not a good sign. Finally, it started, and I was immediately sorry it did; my first impulse was to turn it off. When I first glimpsed something that sort of resembled Pilot Butte in the background, I thought, Is this supposed to be about Bend? It couldn't be, it doesn't even make any sense. But lo and behold, it turned out to be about Bend after all.

My next thought was that somebody had gone out of their way—poorly, I might add—to make fun of Bend. It's certainly not something that would ever entice me to visit.

Finally I saw the Bulletin article, and things started to make a perverse sense. Here's a clip:

The Bend Visitor & Convention Bureau has launched an edgy, animated online marketing campaign featuring a video the bureau hopes is so entertaining that viewers will e-mail it to friends, family and colleagues.

The video is sort of like Bend meets The Simpsons.

Locals will recognize scenes in the lighthearted production and presumably chuckle at the characters and lyrics.
...
"The video is funny and entertaining," Glover said. "But, there's also a message that shows what we have here - the river, rafting, skiing, etc. We hope that people will be entertained, then watch it again or pass it along via e-mail."

Ultimately, the video's goal is to interest more people in visiting Bend.

According to Glover, the video is the first of its kind to market a destination such as Bend through an emerging form of advertising known as viral marketing.
...
Glover already considers the campaign a winner, thanks to a marketing coup that will allow friendster.com, a video downloading site popular among iPod owners, to send links to the video with endorsements to more than 1.25 million of its subscribers.

"Just through that, the campaign is a success," Glover said.

Are you kidding me?

There's nothing "edgy" or Simpsons-like anywhere in that video. In fact, it's some seriously shoddy art and animation work happening there. (I know—well, I hope—the people behind it can do better.) And being a local, trust me when I say there's no chuckling going on, and the "recognizable" scenes are barely even that.

Here's a hint about viral marketing: it tends to work best when it's not directed. Don't hold it out there and proclaim it a success; either it'll happen on its own or it won't. You have no real control over the matter.

And they think hooking up with Friendster is a marketing coup? Really? Friendster is on the wane in a big way. They would have been far better off leveraging MySpace (with 86 million users) and YouTube. Then you'd see some real numbers.

Oh and by the way, pick a better domain name next time... "where-the-hell-are-we.com" just lacks that, how would you say, convenience and ease of use in passing around a link.

I will concede that this video is viral in an avian flu sense—it's spreading around the local blogosphere and everybody I've shown it to hates it. But that's not the kind of viral you'd hope for.

Postscript: And it's gone... I wonder if that was intentional, or there was too much backlash?

Post-postscript: Yes, you'll notice I didn't actually link to the video directly... I debated it. But since it appears to be gone anyway, oh well.

Oh, this is such a twisted, twisted thing to laugh at, and yet I couldn't stop laughing: The Easter Bunny Hates You (video).

I wouldn't let the kids watch this one, lest they be scarred for life...

Thanks, Shannon!

If you're familiar with web programming and AJAX and PHP, check out this item about Client-side PHP on The Daily WTF. Go ahead, take a look. I'll wait.

Done? Good. Now, if you're familiar with what's happening in that code, I'll wait while you convulse in horror. :)

Holy expletive, that code makes me angry and want to laugh at the same time. I'll just reiterate Deane's headline: Someone please fire the person who wrote that.

Okay, just a little while ago I saw the creepiest, randomest commercial for Skittles ever... I won't even pretend to try to understand it...

Anyone else seen it? Basically, a guy with a weird, long (like, three-feet-plus long) beard is at a job interview, and the beard is moving like an elephant's trunk, feeding the guy skittles from the desk. The woman conducting the interview is trying to turn him down, and—

Yeah, freakshow—

—and the beard feeds the woman a Skittle and strokes the side of her face, while he just chuckles in a creepy way.

And that's it.

I can pretty much guarantee I'll never buy another pack of Skittles again.

...You didn't think I wouldn't give you a link, did you? Here's the video on YouTube.

It's amazing what they're publishing in For Dummies books these days... I almost wish I had made this up:

Pit Bulls for Dummies

This just makes me laugh. The fact that it's for real just makes this that much more irrationally funny to me...

So first a mouse set a man's house on fire, now a puppy has done the same thing here in Bend:

A frisky puppy left in a laundry room apparently sparked a northeast Bend house fire that almost claimed his life. Investigators said Friday the dog caused an aerosol can to discharge vapors that a water heater pilot light ignited, setting the room ablaze.

It's like When Animals Attack, but weirder. Awesome.

As an aside, I really like the new NewsChannel 21 site. Barney done good!

Okay, this is kind of an awful story...

No, scratch that. It's a story that seems like it should be awful, but I just can't take it seriously. It just makes me laugh. I can't help it: Mouse takes down house.

On Saturday, a Fort Sumner man's home fell victim to a mouse fire.

Homeowner Luciano Mares said he caught a mouse inside his residence and discarded the creature in a pile of garden refuse he was burning on his property near the home.

"I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house," he said.

The. Mouse. Was. On. Fire.

Update: Snopes debunks it. It almost happened, but the mouse was already dead.

Update #2: According to CNN, the story may be true after all:

Is that plausible? Fort Sumner Fire Chief Juan Chavez said Tuesday he thinks so.

"There's no reason for him to lie about what he told us," Chavez said. "I don't doubt it at all."

There's hope!

I can't help it, but this is just so weirdly funny. Bend man robs liquor store: this is not the funny part. The funny part is the guy's mugshot:

This dude looks like the love child of Rodney Dangerfield and Bob Marley or something!

Does this sound like a good idea?

Woe un2mnkind! The text message is trying to summarise the great poet John Milton and a respected academic thinks this may be a smart new way to teach literature.

A company offering mobile phones to students has hired Professor John Sutherland, professor emeritus of English Literature at University College London, to offer subscribers text message summaries and quotes from literary classics.

The hope is that messages in the truncated shorthand of mobile phones will help make great literature more accessible.

So butchering the classics into text-messaging shorthand that are barely understandable will make them more accessible? Oh, this is so, so wrong.

First of all, there's no "teaching" of literature going on here; you might as well be getting summaries of last night's episode of "Lost"—only reading "MadwyfSetsFyr2Haus" would not entice me to pick up Jane Eyre.

Second of all, what does a professor emeritus of English Literature even know about text-messaging shorthand? Jeez, I don't know much, but the examples they give seem contrived even to me.

Third, what self-respecting teen would subscribe to this service? Here's a hint—those of us who, as teens, were into literature and could quote from various works really, really weren't a part of that crowd. If you wanted to be part of that crowd, well, you wouldn't be getting literature on your phone, as it were.

Via Slashdot.

Update 11/17: CNN has a better article which has more on the pushback against the service.

The Kansas Board of Education has approved new school standards that promote and teach so-called "intelligent design." Wow; I don't even have the words, so I'll quote the article...

"This is a sad day. We're becoming a laughingstock of not only the nation, but of the world, and I hate that," said board member Janet Waugh, a Kansas City Democrat.

You got that right, sister.

Via Slashdot.

The Bulletin today has a piece on the DeWolf sexual harrassment case, with much more detail. It's rather appalling. Touching on some points:

• Apparently "Deschutes County policy requires employees to report sexual harassment.... Violating the policy can draw penalties that range from a warning to dismissal, according to the policy." While I think sexual harrassment is a pretty serious offense, this policy seems awfully harsh for the victim—I mean, not only could you be subjected to the harrassment to begin with, you could lose your job for being too embarrassed or scared to report it? Wow. Sounds like a great way to breed a culture of fear and avoidance.
  
  (The article does mention that none of the employees—there are at least three—who knew about it have been disciplined specifically under this policy, though one of them has been suspended pending the ongoing investigation of the juvenile department that pulled the trigger on this whole mess.)
  
  
• When he was first interviewed for the juvenile department investigation, "DeWolf said the investigation would have never been authorized had he not taken a month off over the summer to attend a public policy school at Harvard University." Hmmmm. Is he admitting that he would have hindered this investigation, given the chance? Sounds criminal.
• The article covers the incident in question in detail. It illustrates some pretty blatant behavior on DeWolf's part—this is the stuff in particular that I found appalling. In particular I have a hard time reconciling that with DeWolf's resignation statement where he declares: "I stand by my statement of August 9 that the incident from two years ago was resolved the day after it occurred. Valid county policy was followed in that resolution"—except for the county policy that requires sexual harrassment to be reported. Or, when he says this:
  

  People have asked what purpose was served by the Lane County Deputy District Attorney holding a press conference in the county office building. They've asked what purpose was served by bringing up an incident from twelve years ago. They've asked what purpose was served when he used such salacious and sensational language in declaring his intention not to file charges. They've asked what purpose was served by the media quoting that salacious and sensational language. I have no answer for these questions.

  Talk about avoidance—trying to lay the blame for all this coming out into the open on the Lane County DA(!). Seems to me the answer to those questions is pretty obvious; it prompted a much-needed housecleaning.

Mom delivers 16th child, thinking of more: I'm sorry, but this is just messed up. That's pretty much all I can say about it. Except for a few quotes which demonstrate how truly creepy this is.

Michelle Duggar had her first child at age 21, four years after the couple married.

Which of course means they got married... at age 17...

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar's children include two sets of twins. Each child's name begins with the letter "J"... [includes list of names, including some zingers]

I'm just speechless.

I may not be posting much this weekend. Today we had to have our oldest cat, Bob, put to sleep. He had a cancerous intenstinal tumor that was inoperable. He was also 12 years old, he lived a long good life; we'd raised him from a kitten so this is especially hard.

...it's like losing a member of the family. He really was the best cat you could ask for. Thankfully I got to be there with him in the end, and bury him.

I'm not functioning all that well right now, good thing it's a long weekend.

Okay, this is damn freaky. Apparently US scientists have succeeded in reanimating dead dogs—yup, bringing them back to life by replacing their blood, cooling them down, and shocking them with electricity.

They claim the zombie dogs are "perfectly normal, with no brain damage." Riiiiiight.

There is no way I would trust a dog—or any animal really—to be normal again that died and was brought back to life like Frankenstein's monster. I've seen Pet Sematary (just the movie; ironically it's one of the few Stephen King novels I haven't read), that just ain't happenin'.

On the other hand, when I clicked through to the article I just about wet myself laughing so hard at the totally inappropriate stock photo they used...

Via Slashdot.

Updated, see below.

A while back, Jake posted about a public restroom in Switzerland that was made out of one-way glass. Well, apparently there's one in Houston now; my friend Kerry sent me the pictures in email this morning.

Here's what it looks like from the outside:

And, here's the view from the inside:

Man, that's just wrong. I just couldn't use it, no way.

Update: These are the photos from the original Switzerland toilet; looks like they're being recycled again. So, take this all with a grain of salt. What's funny is that I first heard of this (and then got the email) from people at work, and it's making the rounds on other sites as well (a quick search on Google pulls them up), so there may be an actual Houston toilet; who knows.

...has to be this one: Letourneau to wed former pupil. This is just one of those things I have a hard time understanding; this woman should have been kept in jail. For the rest of her life.

Some people just have too much anger:

A woman has been arrested for digging up her dead boyfriend's ashes from a cemetery more than 10 years ago and drinking the beer that was buried with him, possibly out of spite for his family, authorities say....

Detective Jay Yerges said Stolzmann and Hendrickson were living together in the early 1990s, while they were both married to other people. The relationship was stormy, with a pattern of alcohol and domestic abuse, he said.

Stolzmann was present when Hendrickson shot himself in January 1992. Yerges said Hendrickson's family blamed her for his death and she was not invited to his services.

"I feel that her motive was spite," Yerges said.

No kidding.

Although, I have to wonder: why was he buried with beer in the first place, and what kind was it?

Via A Good Beer Blog.

Found on Jeffrey Zeldman Presents: The Ad Graveyard, via Boing Boing. Pretty much speaks for itself.

Okay, here's a picture of the scariest dog I've ever seen—come to think of it, the entire picture is pretty freaky:

(Picture found on Strong Gundogs)

Holy shit, that looks like something that would come from Doom or something...

Apparently people breed dogs like these to hunt wild boar. Jeez...

Okay, this article on a living tissue jacket is just disturbing and yet darkly funny. Basically, some guys are literally growing a jacket from living tissue...

Grown using a combination of mouse and human cells, the jacket is currently quite tiny (about 2 inches high and 1.4 inches wide) and would just fit a mouse....

"One of the most common and somewhat surprising comments we heard was that people were disturbed by our ethics of using living cells to grow living fabric," said Zurr, "while the use of leather obtained from animals seems to be accepted without any concern for the well-being of the animals from which the skin has been removed."

Hey, I'll concede they have somewhat noble reasons for doing this, but hello? We're talking about wearing jackets made from living human flesh. Um... Hannibal Lecter? Skinsuits? This guy? Ringing any bells?

How's this for disturbing?

I was just at the Evergreen Village (Bellevue) Safeway this morning, doing my little shopping thing. I was late — I usually do it on the weekend. While wandering around getting my goods, I noticed that the shelves in the produce aisle were looking a bit empty. I didn't think much of it. I never come in on Mondays. Maybe this is what things look like after a weekend rush. Maybe they're expecting a delivery soon. Maybe they had taken all the little fruits and vegetables on a field trip (AHAHAHA).

Well, just heard on the news, the reason the shelves were empty was because they found (and I quote) "a pile of fecal matter was discovered on top of some produce" (from NWCN channel) on Sunday night between 7:30 and 10:30PM. Safeway immediately shut down the produce section, turfed out the produce, disinfected the shelves, and brought new produce in. They're also offering refunds on produce purchased last night.

Via Metroblogging Seattle.

This has got to be the scariest picture I've ever seen.